I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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