We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize