im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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