I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
