I got chris browned last night
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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