Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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