The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
