garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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