Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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