Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize