Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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