allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
