There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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