no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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