apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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