dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
