Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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