so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Randomize
