Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
