when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
