Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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