god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
