i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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