have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize