We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
