i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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