Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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