That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
