Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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