i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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