Just cropdusted the office
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
