sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize