my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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