im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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