windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
