if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
