Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
