talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm too high and old for this...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
