My liver just broke up with me...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
