Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
