my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
