when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize