Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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