her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
