As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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