Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
