The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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