a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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