I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We are two peas in an std pod
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
