Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i think my tv is drunk
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
