why do cheetos always look like penises
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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