Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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