Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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