he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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