he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
