Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
