i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize