so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
