Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize